I'm going to be 35 weeks tomorrow with our little girl Lydia Faith. I got pregnant by the grace of God after 3 miscarriages and severe endometriosis. I was considered infertile, my adhesions, scarring, cysts and fibroids made pregnancy a near impossible challenge. Add to that I have a strange form of epilepsy, I am bipolar and I also have fibromyalgia. When I got pregnant with her I was on a combination of medications to control my health problems. I am managing my mental health problems with therapy until I can go back on my medication after I have her.
I know it's common thought that stopping after one is selfish, and as I have heard "limiting God" and not having enough faith that God will provide the financial means (even if that means relying on the church for donations), that God won't give you more than you can handle, that in order to fulfill Biblical commands we must have more than one. It doesn't matter that your on modified bedrest from 29 weeks on because of non productive contractions, limited restriction from 9 weeks on due to cramping and 3 previous miscarriages we as mothers to be are told we must have more than child. This book is an example of this.
I was told by my high risk OB, that to have another one would put my life at risk, possibly killing me and the baby. Another reason, I am type 1 bipolar, having more than one would be dangerous, not because I don't know how to control my mental disorder but because I mentally cannot handle more than one child. I have a 94% chance without medicine of developing severe postpartum depression. It doesn't matter that I am a Christian and I trust God 100% that He will get me through it, postpartum depression and bipolar disorder are 100% real mental problems you cannot just say a prayer and it goes away. Faith is wonderful, and works wonderfully, but faith doesn't cure bipolar disorder either. My health is important, taking care of Lydia is important, being a wife is important and it will be hard enough on me to adjust to having someone else to take care of beside myself.
Selfish?
I don't think so, my health is very important to me, I don't want to leave my husband without a wife, or have a wife who is an empty shell of herself because she put herself in a situation where she cannot mentally handle the challenge of raising more than one child. I reiterate that, because so many people believe that this is a made up illness that only criminals or serial killers have.
Endometriosis
I have stage 4 endometriosis, during pregnancy it is supposed to go in remission, with mine it is severe enough where it is impeding with the pregnancy at 29 weeks, I started having contractions, luckily they were non productive and I wasn't dilating or losing fluid but I landed myself on modified bedrest to keep myself from going into full blown labor, even now at 34 weeks if I don't rest I will start contracting again. I am allowed out once a week for 3 or 4 hours. I can cook dinner, but I am not allowed to do any laundry, housework or anything requiring strenuous activity. Before that at 9 weeks, I started cramping, and with my history of miscarriage-the endometriosis and RH complications caused them, I had to go onto limited activity restriction-which means I could do housework, but I had to rest after chores, I could go out anytime I wanted but I had to rest afterward. My body cannot handle pregnancy, and it is with prayer, the Lord's help, and me doing my part I am keeping Lydia inside of me until she is considered full term. My husband is great, he is helping me with all the house chores, and doing everything he can while working 6 days a week.
On the non health side, why we were stopping after Lydia.
We trust in the Lord, we are doing our part to dig out of the hole 5 years of inconsistent income created, and hopefully soon we'll be on the right track. Financially we will be able to take care of her and instead of spoiling her, we want to put her in a private Christian school and with only having her we can afford to do that. We can let her be in sports, or whatever she wants to do without having to worrying about how we're going to afford putting more than one kid in sports. We can devote our lives to teaching her the Gospel, showing her how to be a successful person, to become a Christian it is a big responsibility and having one will help us be the best parents ever.
You are entitled to your opinion on how many kids you want to have, there is no scriptural evidence besides the "quiver full" verse on children and training them up. Children ARE a blessing from God and having one is the greatest blessing I can ever say I have been given. Once you start pushing your ideas and theories on someone else then you have crossed the line-if you want to let the Lord decide how many you have then that is your right. If you want to have 19 kids, then that's fine. If you want to stop after 1 that is your opinion. As someone that struggled with infertility, I was told I was in the wrong because I couldn't have kids, now I'm in the wrong because I'm stopping after 1. When will the judgement end?! We as parents and Christians need to realize that not everyone is blessed with perfect health that allows for multiple children, and that we are all different.
So please don't question what you don't understand, and when she gets here don't ask when we're having more, I am having surgery when she is born to prevent another baby and if we do decide to have more it will be adoption and it will be way in the future if it happens.
Friday, May 30, 2014
Tuesday, April 29, 2014
Yoga Pants and Leggings
I haven't written in a while, I've had a rough pregnancy and most of my life has been devoted to taking care of Lydia, my husband and the big thing, our move closer to my parents! I've had this on my mind for a while, and it is in light of all the negative feedback toward yoga pants and leggings.
You can read articles all day long on how someone felt the day they wore yoga pants, how yoga pants cause lustful desires and on and on I can go.
First I will say this, yes we are responsible as Christians in what we wear, but the thing too is the other person has a responsibility not to look. There I said it. We all have a responsibility not to lust but are yoga pants encouraging lust? Let's look closer at this....
1. Yoga pants are sinful, same with leggings.
If we are going to make a blanket statement about certain kinds of clothes what about skinny legs jeans? Are they sinful too? What about jeans that aren't straight cut? Where do we draw the line?
2. Your encouraging and inviting men to lust after you.
I wear what I call the non skin tight variety-ie.-one size up from my normal size for comfort reasons I hate things being too tight. I wear them with t-shirts, tunics, running to the store, going out with the husband and everywhere else. I don't see men lusting after me any more than if I was wearing my jeans and t-shirts.
3. Men can't control how they feel, they're visual creatures.
Duh. I've been married 5 years, I know that, not to get personal but I know how and what turns my husband on-and that is something that is kept at home. Men do get turned on and that is why my clothes are modest, maybe not conservative but modest. I don't encourage men to lust after me by wearing low cut t-shirts that show everything, short shorts where half my butt is hanging out, spaghetti strap tanks without a shrug. Men are going to look, it is our job to make sure that we aren't doing anything to encourage it. As I told someone, with the way I look, men would get turned on by a paper sack-I can dress in a normal manner and still get stared at. Am I encouraging it by dressing modestly? I think not.
4. The Bible shows we should be wearing _____ (add item of clothing)
Most of the people that use this believe in the old fashioned view of neck high shirts, long skirts, making sure everything is covered-no skin is showing except for arms and possibly ankles. Men will look anyway! If you are that concerned on how you are dressing you have a crazy view that I cannot see myself following. It isn't Biblical to tell someone you must dress a certain way. Yes there are standards that we must follow and as times change so does dress. As long as it is modest, and it's overly tight, revealing, or short we can wear it safely as Christians.
With these 4 points, I hope to show that as Christian we can wear yoga pants and leggings without causing someone to lust after us. It takes time to mature and I know some of you may not agree but as for me it is a personal opinion a Romans 14 issue, and I will continue to wear my yoga pants/yoga capris.
I'm also 30 weeks pregnant and they are so incredibly comfortable when nothing else is fitting too!
You can read articles all day long on how someone felt the day they wore yoga pants, how yoga pants cause lustful desires and on and on I can go.
First I will say this, yes we are responsible as Christians in what we wear, but the thing too is the other person has a responsibility not to look. There I said it. We all have a responsibility not to lust but are yoga pants encouraging lust? Let's look closer at this....
1. Yoga pants are sinful, same with leggings.
If we are going to make a blanket statement about certain kinds of clothes what about skinny legs jeans? Are they sinful too? What about jeans that aren't straight cut? Where do we draw the line?
2. Your encouraging and inviting men to lust after you.
I wear what I call the non skin tight variety-ie.-one size up from my normal size for comfort reasons I hate things being too tight. I wear them with t-shirts, tunics, running to the store, going out with the husband and everywhere else. I don't see men lusting after me any more than if I was wearing my jeans and t-shirts.
3. Men can't control how they feel, they're visual creatures.
Duh. I've been married 5 years, I know that, not to get personal but I know how and what turns my husband on-and that is something that is kept at home. Men do get turned on and that is why my clothes are modest, maybe not conservative but modest. I don't encourage men to lust after me by wearing low cut t-shirts that show everything, short shorts where half my butt is hanging out, spaghetti strap tanks without a shrug. Men are going to look, it is our job to make sure that we aren't doing anything to encourage it. As I told someone, with the way I look, men would get turned on by a paper sack-I can dress in a normal manner and still get stared at. Am I encouraging it by dressing modestly? I think not.
4. The Bible shows we should be wearing _____ (add item of clothing)
Most of the people that use this believe in the old fashioned view of neck high shirts, long skirts, making sure everything is covered-no skin is showing except for arms and possibly ankles. Men will look anyway! If you are that concerned on how you are dressing you have a crazy view that I cannot see myself following. It isn't Biblical to tell someone you must dress a certain way. Yes there are standards that we must follow and as times change so does dress. As long as it is modest, and it's overly tight, revealing, or short we can wear it safely as Christians.
With these 4 points, I hope to show that as Christian we can wear yoga pants and leggings without causing someone to lust after us. It takes time to mature and I know some of you may not agree but as for me it is a personal opinion a Romans 14 issue, and I will continue to wear my yoga pants/yoga capris.
I'm also 30 weeks pregnant and they are so incredibly comfortable when nothing else is fitting too!
Friday, March 14, 2014
Mental Health Stigma
I try to avoid talking in great detail about my struggle with type 1 bipolar disorder. Yes I am a rapid cycler, I go through moods more than most people would in their entire lifetime. That is beside the point though, as a wife who is entrusted with carrying a human life-Lydia Faith, and ending up with mysterious seizures that we're trying to find a neurologist that understands I'm hitting road blocks-all because I'm bipolar. My previous neurologist was of no help-he said in short-I'm bipolar it's my fault I'm seizing because I'm not controlling my mood swings-and he won't help me but give me all the drugs I want after Lydia gets here.
At the hospital I was classified as someone with pseudo seizures because I can respond to pain-which I have NO idea is happening-and since I'm bipolar it's something psychological because I'm off my medication-because it's too dangerous to take while I'm pregnant. However, I am in control of my moods, I am seeing a specialist every single month for my check in with my bipolar disorder, and I am in full on recovery mode. That does not mean I will never have problems, outbursts when the mania hits, but I am well in control of my actions, thoughts and mood switches. I know how serious this disorder is and how it affects every part of my life. I also know it can't be pseudo, because I'm figuring out what is triggering them-anything that involves rapid eye movement-which means at church the songs on the powerpoint, my beloved Sims 3 game, flashing lights, fast movements on television and the like. I am controlling my seizures myself-until my awesome OB who doesn't judge me because I'm bipolar finds someone for me to go to.
Being judged because I'm bipolar is something I've ran into since being diagnosed in October 2013. Most health care professionals are unsure what to do. My neurologist threw that very unhelpful mood quiz at me right after I was in the E.R the day before with a seizure attack-I seized for over an hour straight all they did was watch me my mom said. Of course I would be in a bad mood, I was pretty much ignored and watched until I came around. On the day before Sunday-they gave me something to pull me out and made sure I was okay before sending me home. So I had every reason to be agitated, frustrated and wanting to scream especially after the neurologist is of no help. The neurologist also took almost 2 hours to see me so I was already mad and then being told it's all my fault really iced the cake-how is it my fault I am seizing. I am no longer dealing with the PTSD flashbacks and nightmares anymore they're a distant memory thanks to the person I see regularly who has helped me move on with my life.
When I'm seizing I am as chill as everything, I'm doing the Zen thing I was taught by my specialist to keep me calm when I start getting frenzied, and it works wonders. I never seize when I'm in the middle of a cycle switch either, or when I'm in a certain mood. Yes I sometimes deal with insomnia sometimes it's because my little jumping bean decides it's time to party at 2am other times it's because I'm manic and I want to enjoy the mania of getting little sleep, and enjoying the roller coaster ride. But do I seize then, no-I do not. I seize when I decide it'll be fun to play the Sims 3, I have most expansion packs and so I could play for hours, or I decide to sing following the powerpoint slide and not my trusty hymnbook, or any other combination of things.
I wish healthcare would stop judging us that are mentally ill and realize not everything is because I'm bipolar. I have stage 4 endometriosis it wasn't caused by bipolar disorder, same with my fibromyalgia-that is a result of the endometriosis. My thought is this, if we can't stop judging those who need the help with other health problems we're never going to be a country who cares about the mentally ill. Being put in a box labeled mentally ill and it causes x, y and z without finding another cause will only hurt this country and hurt those who need help. I'm very blessed to have a husband who helps me and understands why I am the way I am-and who makes sure I get doctors who don't blame the illness and blame me. It's not easy being bipolar and it's sure not easy when people don't want to find the real cause of health problems! Hopefully soon I will find out the true cause of my seizures instead of living in fear of them happening.
At the hospital I was classified as someone with pseudo seizures because I can respond to pain-which I have NO idea is happening-and since I'm bipolar it's something psychological because I'm off my medication-because it's too dangerous to take while I'm pregnant. However, I am in control of my moods, I am seeing a specialist every single month for my check in with my bipolar disorder, and I am in full on recovery mode. That does not mean I will never have problems, outbursts when the mania hits, but I am well in control of my actions, thoughts and mood switches. I know how serious this disorder is and how it affects every part of my life. I also know it can't be pseudo, because I'm figuring out what is triggering them-anything that involves rapid eye movement-which means at church the songs on the powerpoint, my beloved Sims 3 game, flashing lights, fast movements on television and the like. I am controlling my seizures myself-until my awesome OB who doesn't judge me because I'm bipolar finds someone for me to go to.
Being judged because I'm bipolar is something I've ran into since being diagnosed in October 2013. Most health care professionals are unsure what to do. My neurologist threw that very unhelpful mood quiz at me right after I was in the E.R the day before with a seizure attack-I seized for over an hour straight all they did was watch me my mom said. Of course I would be in a bad mood, I was pretty much ignored and watched until I came around. On the day before Sunday-they gave me something to pull me out and made sure I was okay before sending me home. So I had every reason to be agitated, frustrated and wanting to scream especially after the neurologist is of no help. The neurologist also took almost 2 hours to see me so I was already mad and then being told it's all my fault really iced the cake-how is it my fault I am seizing. I am no longer dealing with the PTSD flashbacks and nightmares anymore they're a distant memory thanks to the person I see regularly who has helped me move on with my life.
When I'm seizing I am as chill as everything, I'm doing the Zen thing I was taught by my specialist to keep me calm when I start getting frenzied, and it works wonders. I never seize when I'm in the middle of a cycle switch either, or when I'm in a certain mood. Yes I sometimes deal with insomnia sometimes it's because my little jumping bean decides it's time to party at 2am other times it's because I'm manic and I want to enjoy the mania of getting little sleep, and enjoying the roller coaster ride. But do I seize then, no-I do not. I seize when I decide it'll be fun to play the Sims 3, I have most expansion packs and so I could play for hours, or I decide to sing following the powerpoint slide and not my trusty hymnbook, or any other combination of things.
I wish healthcare would stop judging us that are mentally ill and realize not everything is because I'm bipolar. I have stage 4 endometriosis it wasn't caused by bipolar disorder, same with my fibromyalgia-that is a result of the endometriosis. My thought is this, if we can't stop judging those who need the help with other health problems we're never going to be a country who cares about the mentally ill. Being put in a box labeled mentally ill and it causes x, y and z without finding another cause will only hurt this country and hurt those who need help. I'm very blessed to have a husband who helps me and understands why I am the way I am-and who makes sure I get doctors who don't blame the illness and blame me. It's not easy being bipolar and it's sure not easy when people don't want to find the real cause of health problems! Hopefully soon I will find out the true cause of my seizures instead of living in fear of them happening.
Thursday, January 30, 2014
Normal Pregnancy
This is me at my most sarcastic..just an fyi
I'm having a normal uneventual pregnancy-I am only on activity restriction because of my past history of miscarriage. But I am so lazy...here is why
1. I do take my daily prenatal vitamin-but sometimes it's 3-4 hours late-because I'm just too lazy to go take it or I end up falling back to sleep and forget
2. I have given up trying to take a weekly pregnancy belly pic-I am so done with watching my stomach grow-if the lil one wants to know I'll say "volleyball" at 4 months and "blocking the sun" thanks to a friend for that analogy when I'm due in July.
3. I may have a pregnancy "glow" but I'm not going to make myself look good if I don't feel it. Yoga pants, leggings and a cute pregnancy top and I am set to go. I don't care if I'm dressed to go out with the husband or to go to church. I am big and comfortable that is all.
4. I don't mind having a baby shower I need stuff sorry to anyone who thinks I'm greedy-but other than that no party for me. When I know what I'm having I am going to kick my feet up, watch something on Netflix that is humorous and thank the Lord my baby is healthy.
5. I am tired, and I will sleep whenever I feel like it. I do go out with my mom (who is AWESOME) once a week and it is SO nice to get a break from the boringness of my life.
6. I love feeling the baby move around, but sometimes it'll hit my backbone or my bladder and all I can say is ouch, and try to make him or her move from where it's situated.
7. I've become accustomed to being a two person body ie. Myself and a small tiny person that has taken residence inside of me.
8. To add to 5, it goes beyond being tired it goes to the point where lil one stays up all night long and then I sleep all day to make up for it.
Above all I love being pregnant and I am thankful for being pregnant because after 3 losses I thought it was never going to happen. But I am looking forward to being a mom and even though it's a big change I can't wait.
I'm having a normal uneventual pregnancy-I am only on activity restriction because of my past history of miscarriage. But I am so lazy...here is why
1. I do take my daily prenatal vitamin-but sometimes it's 3-4 hours late-because I'm just too lazy to go take it or I end up falling back to sleep and forget
2. I have given up trying to take a weekly pregnancy belly pic-I am so done with watching my stomach grow-if the lil one wants to know I'll say "volleyball" at 4 months and "blocking the sun" thanks to a friend for that analogy when I'm due in July.
3. I may have a pregnancy "glow" but I'm not going to make myself look good if I don't feel it. Yoga pants, leggings and a cute pregnancy top and I am set to go. I don't care if I'm dressed to go out with the husband or to go to church. I am big and comfortable that is all.
4. I don't mind having a baby shower I need stuff sorry to anyone who thinks I'm greedy-but other than that no party for me. When I know what I'm having I am going to kick my feet up, watch something on Netflix that is humorous and thank the Lord my baby is healthy.
5. I am tired, and I will sleep whenever I feel like it. I do go out with my mom (who is AWESOME) once a week and it is SO nice to get a break from the boringness of my life.
6. I love feeling the baby move around, but sometimes it'll hit my backbone or my bladder and all I can say is ouch, and try to make him or her move from where it's situated.
7. I've become accustomed to being a two person body ie. Myself and a small tiny person that has taken residence inside of me.
8. To add to 5, it goes beyond being tired it goes to the point where lil one stays up all night long and then I sleep all day to make up for it.
Above all I love being pregnant and I am thankful for being pregnant because after 3 losses I thought it was never going to happen. But I am looking forward to being a mom and even though it's a big change I can't wait.
Saturday, January 18, 2014
Recovery
About 6 months ago I was hopeless, tired of living, tired of struggling and I was sick of everything. I cried out to God, asking "why me?" because I had no idea where to go. I had been struggling on and off for 12 years with severe depression and anxiety-I did not know where to turn. Until, I got set up with my therapist Ms. K. She has been a lifesaver-and brought me back from the brink of death to a life worth living.
I did not know I was bipolar-all I knew was the highs and lows were extreme. The anger and hatred I felt was overwhelming. Spiritually I was in a bad place-I wanted to get closer to God but the depression was preventing me from getting better spiritually. Then I met my therapist. With her help I was able to change how I thought, how I acted, realized that bipolar disorder is not an excuse for my actions, but a reason to change my actions and do better. I realized how afraid of the world I was-I couldn't leave the house sometimes, I couldn't drive my car, I was literally trapped in my own body and my own house.
Six months ago I filled out an anxiety and depression survey. My depression was at a 36-which meant severe suicidal depression, my anxiety was at a 14, very severe-and together my therapist worked with me and helped me get through those dark days-I went every week for a while, then two weeks, now I am back to once a month to go for monthly check ins. The irrational fears are gone-I can drive again, I'm not afraid to be alone anymore while my husband is working. The anger and outbursts are under control-I have what we have called the pregnancy hormones but that is it.
I am spiritually stronger, willing and ready to be the best Christian I can be, because through the dark days God lead me, He lead me to my therapist, He helped me through my struggle of learning how to think logically and outwardly, along with therapy I have improved so much.
It isn't because I'm pregnant I'm recovering, I'm recovering for myself, and I have built a wall around me, when it gets bad, I pray, I know when I'm going manic, I know when the depression hits, and I know how to fight it. I have resources both here on earth and above.
I never thought I could recover, and stay stable without medication. Yes I have bad days and some days are harder but I am recovering. I am taking it one day at a time-and becoming the wife and soon to be mother I have needed and wanted to be. Above all I am becoming the Christian God desires of me. For that I am proud, and I am grateful to have wonderful people in my life that help me through it. For though I walk through the shadow of Death I shall fear no evil.
I did not know I was bipolar-all I knew was the highs and lows were extreme. The anger and hatred I felt was overwhelming. Spiritually I was in a bad place-I wanted to get closer to God but the depression was preventing me from getting better spiritually. Then I met my therapist. With her help I was able to change how I thought, how I acted, realized that bipolar disorder is not an excuse for my actions, but a reason to change my actions and do better. I realized how afraid of the world I was-I couldn't leave the house sometimes, I couldn't drive my car, I was literally trapped in my own body and my own house.
Six months ago I filled out an anxiety and depression survey. My depression was at a 36-which meant severe suicidal depression, my anxiety was at a 14, very severe-and together my therapist worked with me and helped me get through those dark days-I went every week for a while, then two weeks, now I am back to once a month to go for monthly check ins. The irrational fears are gone-I can drive again, I'm not afraid to be alone anymore while my husband is working. The anger and outbursts are under control-I have what we have called the pregnancy hormones but that is it.
I am spiritually stronger, willing and ready to be the best Christian I can be, because through the dark days God lead me, He lead me to my therapist, He helped me through my struggle of learning how to think logically and outwardly, along with therapy I have improved so much.
It isn't because I'm pregnant I'm recovering, I'm recovering for myself, and I have built a wall around me, when it gets bad, I pray, I know when I'm going manic, I know when the depression hits, and I know how to fight it. I have resources both here on earth and above.
I never thought I could recover, and stay stable without medication. Yes I have bad days and some days are harder but I am recovering. I am taking it one day at a time-and becoming the wife and soon to be mother I have needed and wanted to be. Above all I am becoming the Christian God desires of me. For that I am proud, and I am grateful to have wonderful people in my life that help me through it. For though I walk through the shadow of Death I shall fear no evil.
Thursday, January 9, 2014
Healthy Baby
As the doctor put the magic doppler on my stomach and the room filled with the sounds of the babies heartbeat I was in awe. How amazing it truly is that from a tiny blob of cells has a baby developed. Like the verse said, "for you formed my inward parts" it is so true, and hearing that heartbeat made me feel so blessed. I was in awe, and I was shocked, it was real.
I have so much to be thankful for, besides being a wife, and being thankful for my husband and my beautiful labrador, now I can be thankful for this little life inside of me. I was told by the doctor, it would have been impossible without God for me to conceive. My endometriosis is so severe it prevents conception. I also have the possibility of RH factor problems, the doctor hinted at that being the reason why I lost 2 at 12 weeks. The time was right and the Lord blessed us, we can't take all the credit, but I can thank the Lord for giving me this opportunity to have a child and become a mother.
I'm 14 weeks and 5 days, and July 7th is coming quick but my husband and I preparing ourselves for the change our lives are going to take. We waited almost 5 years for this opportunity, and after losing 3 babies everything is perfect.
As my doctor said "that heartbeat means that a little boy or girl is perfectly healthy!" The heartbeat is at 155 beats per minute, I haven't gained any weight and I look like I swallowed a volleyball! Prayers have been answered, and I keep on praying!
I have so much to be thankful for, besides being a wife, and being thankful for my husband and my beautiful labrador, now I can be thankful for this little life inside of me. I was told by the doctor, it would have been impossible without God for me to conceive. My endometriosis is so severe it prevents conception. I also have the possibility of RH factor problems, the doctor hinted at that being the reason why I lost 2 at 12 weeks. The time was right and the Lord blessed us, we can't take all the credit, but I can thank the Lord for giving me this opportunity to have a child and become a mother.
I'm 14 weeks and 5 days, and July 7th is coming quick but my husband and I preparing ourselves for the change our lives are going to take. We waited almost 5 years for this opportunity, and after losing 3 babies everything is perfect.
As my doctor said "that heartbeat means that a little boy or girl is perfectly healthy!" The heartbeat is at 155 beats per minute, I haven't gained any weight and I look like I swallowed a volleyball! Prayers have been answered, and I keep on praying!
Tuesday, January 7, 2014
14 Weeks Pregnant
Yes, I am now 14 weeks pregnant and I definitely look pregnant now, my stomach "popped" like bread with yeast and I am now in stretchy maternity jeans and my favorite pair of black leggings. Shirts are still an iffy situation, I can wear **some** non maternity shirts others I look like a redneck heading to the local wal-mart! No offense if your a wal-mart shopper who's clothes don't fit. I am a dorky redneck, proud to live in a mobile home with my husband and my "guard" dog Scooter.
I go Thursday to my doctor IF it doesn't get cancelled because he has another delivery at the hospital-that is why last Friday got cancelled. I get to hear the heartbeat for the first time and yes I am so ready, I know everything is fine because LO (little one) is active, kicking and moving a whole lot. I got up wrong out of bed earlier and LO rolled off my bladder and banged right into my very sore endometriosis cyst that sits right outside my babies cozy dwelling. Oww and some pee leakage happened....which is ok, I know it will get worse in the next few months but I'm ready.
Things I am doing with LO this week
-Spending alone time talking and rubbing my belly letting LO know it is loved and I can't wait to find out if it's a boy or a girl-only a few more weeks!
-Watching what I eat along with eating everything in sight and I mean everything. String cheese, grapes, you name it I'll eat it-even though that Taco Bell chalupa sounds sooo good
-Listening to the radio because I like music-and I hope to give the baby an appreciation of music
-Making sure to put stretch mark cream on my stomach to prevent zebra stripes
-Not going into the nursery/office/storage space every 5 minutes envisioning inpending motherhood
-Not worrying about the baby and if I'll hear the heartbeat. I lost 3 babies before stressing about it will make everything worse
-Praying to God a whole lot more and asking him to bless this baby and keep this baby safe.
-Get this sinus/upper respiratory infection under control, it's miserable and if I'm miserable no one is safe!
I am actually going to try to make it to church tomorrow night-I am going to go stir crazy I was sick Sunday and I have not left the house to go anywhere since Saturday. I'm ready for real clothes and warm weather-this polar vortex is getting old-sooo incredibly cold.
So on that note I'll leave a picture of my pretty girl Scooter curled up next to the portable space heater
I go Thursday to my doctor IF it doesn't get cancelled because he has another delivery at the hospital-that is why last Friday got cancelled. I get to hear the heartbeat for the first time and yes I am so ready, I know everything is fine because LO (little one) is active, kicking and moving a whole lot. I got up wrong out of bed earlier and LO rolled off my bladder and banged right into my very sore endometriosis cyst that sits right outside my babies cozy dwelling. Oww and some pee leakage happened....which is ok, I know it will get worse in the next few months but I'm ready.
Things I am doing with LO this week
-Spending alone time talking and rubbing my belly letting LO know it is loved and I can't wait to find out if it's a boy or a girl-only a few more weeks!
-Watching what I eat along with eating everything in sight and I mean everything. String cheese, grapes, you name it I'll eat it-even though that Taco Bell chalupa sounds sooo good
-Listening to the radio because I like music-and I hope to give the baby an appreciation of music
-Making sure to put stretch mark cream on my stomach to prevent zebra stripes
-Not going into the nursery/office/storage space every 5 minutes envisioning inpending motherhood
-Not worrying about the baby and if I'll hear the heartbeat. I lost 3 babies before stressing about it will make everything worse
-Praying to God a whole lot more and asking him to bless this baby and keep this baby safe.
-Get this sinus/upper respiratory infection under control, it's miserable and if I'm miserable no one is safe!
I am actually going to try to make it to church tomorrow night-I am going to go stir crazy I was sick Sunday and I have not left the house to go anywhere since Saturday. I'm ready for real clothes and warm weather-this polar vortex is getting old-sooo incredibly cold.
So on that note I'll leave a picture of my pretty girl Scooter curled up next to the portable space heater
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